whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
