Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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