I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
