he puts the penis in happiness.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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