i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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