i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
