So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
