i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
