But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want nice things and good sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
