You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
