You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
