Welp...herpes.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize