Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
