I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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