i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Semen is not good for contacts.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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