i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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