do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
