you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
