How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
