I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The uberlube is also flammable
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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