I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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