His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
