If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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