u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
