cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
