everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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