A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize