Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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