Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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