Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
