thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
