ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize