so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
