Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
