508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
