I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
