i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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