I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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