I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize