please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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