i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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