If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
