I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
