Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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