I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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