what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
