lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
