do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
