dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
