it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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