Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
