I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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