Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
