drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
