I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize