My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's always time for handjobs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
