Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
