I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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