You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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