My room smells like vodka and shame
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You may now shotgun with the bride
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
