hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think I won the penis lottery.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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