Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
