i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
