im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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